Guess what, Niners?

Here we go. Meet
Chief Molly O’Brien
Dr. Juliet Bashir
Lt. Cmdr. Worf
Lt. Cmdr. Jadzen Dax
Captain Bethany Sisko
Major Kira Noren
Constable Odo
Alima Garak
and Quark.

I know, I left some people out. Of course I left some people out. It’s Deep Space Nine. Damn thing’s bigger on the inside.

The best part of this was coming up with Garak and Quark’s ludicrous outfits. The costume design, you guys. Trek would not be the same without it. Team Bajor and Team One-Liners totally beat Team Starfleet on sheer quantity of colors used.

Speaking of Team Gets All The Best Lines In the Show, here’s a little bit about Quark (if Gaila is a male name, I see no reason why Quark can’t be a female name, even if it probably wasn’t the one she was born with.)

Quark was born a businessman. The fact that she was also born a female was Ferenginar’s problem, not hers. Of course, the FCA wouldn’t see it that way, so, with a pair of fake ears in one hand and the seventy-fifth Rule of Acquisition in the other, she set out across the stars to seek her fortune. Somehow, this landed her on a flying waste extraction unit way out in Bajoran space, where putting up with the Cardassians and keeping her stupid brother out of trouble quickly outstripped her gender on her list of problems. When the FCA inevitably found out and revoked her business license, Quark decided that, after surviving the Occupation, the Federation, and that time when all the Dabo girls caught the Ankaran flu at the same time, a little thing like excommunication from the Ferengi Alliance couldn’t do a damn thing to hold her back. She had nothing left to lose. So she sold the fake ears at a 175% markup, sent Odo the full Vulcan Love Slave anthology as thanks for keeping her mouth shut all these years (because of course that damn shapeshifter had known all along, of course), and resumed gouging customers, rigging tables, watering drinks - in other words, business as usual. She was no activist; she was a businessman, and she had a bar to run.

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    omt Bashir is gorgeous… This confirms my desire for Jadzia/lady!Bashir fics. Someone needs to write some NAOW.